I’m hosting a virtual women’s circle this weekend and I’m afraid that nobody will come.
I’m also afraid a zillion women will come and I’ll somehow forget how Zoom works and make a gigantic fool of myself.
I am an extremely thin skinned, overthinking, highly sensitive person who (even after a decade sober and countless forms of healing) is STILL driven by a thousand forms of fear.
But wait…am I?
Driven implies “controlled.” And technically, I’m not controlled by these fears anymore.
If I were, I wouldn’t be writing this post, hosting this virtual women’s circle, and I wouldn’t have started the one in my backyard that prompted this one. I wouldn’t launch podcasts, publish bestselling books, or pitch myself to major media outlets on a regular basis…some of which (gasp) actually have me on.
Someone who is filled with fear can also be doing really brave, juicy, fulfilling things, too.
As I do every one of the “brave” things in my life, my armpits are usually drenched in sweat and I have a “RUN! YOU’RE AN IMPOSTER!” voice loud and clear. But I take action from a different place…
Trust.
Hope.
Faith that the things I’m driven to do come from a deeper, wiser, place.
One that’s beneath the fear and voices that say I’m a gigantic fraud and everyone can see my fraudiness hanging out. One that says it’s safe to share things like this because other people feel them too.
And an important note about that: I’m not sharing all of this so that you can leave words of reassurance or sympathy. I lovingly invite you to please not do that, actually. Though I know they come from a well-meaning place, that’s not the point…
The point is to reach the person reading this right now that feels this way too.
The person who wants to:
- Enter that art show, but is afraid they’re not ready
- Go for that new position at work, but fears they won’t get it
- Call a new friend and ask them to coffee, even though that person already seems to have “enough” friends
- Wear that wild outfit that they purchased on a whim but now feel “extra” in
- Start that Etsy shop and actually TELL friends and family about it, even if it means feeling vulnerable
The person who deeply wants something or someone, but keeps waiting for a permission slip, to feel ready, for a certain level of confidence or to have a quieter committee of doubting voices.
Take it from me, a walking nerve ending whose inner committee of critics could fill a coliseum:
You do not have to be ready.
You do not even have to be good.
You can do the thing now.
And, most importantly, wherever you are, whatever you feel, and whatever you want…you are not alone.
There are others like you; people willing to talk about the vulnerable parts, the wilder and uncomfortable truths, the struggles and celebrations and whispered dreams and cringey judgements, the people who suspect it’s in calling the “unacceptable” parts of ourselves home that we are led to braver and more fulfilling lives…
We’re here too, with you. And some of us who identify as women will be gathered around a virtual bonfire this coming Sunday October 16th from 11-12:30pm PST on Zoom. Join us?
If you know women who might need this, please share this with them.
If you feel drawn to be there, listen to that call. We’d love to have you.
Regardless, let’s stop waiting, okay?
Freedom awaits.
And I don’t know about you, but I came here to be free.
xo
Melissa
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This is an inclusive space where all those identifying as women+ or femme* are welcome.
You can find more info about this circle and save your spot right here.
If you’re interested in staying updated about upcoming circles, you can sign up for notifications here. You can also just email me at FollowYourFire@gmail.com and say “please put me on the women’s circle list.”
*If you otherwise identify but this resonated, please know I’ll have another offering for you soon. The world needs you to be brave, too.
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PS: Are you asking the questions you’ll wish you had? Consider writing down answers for your kids, asking questions of your family members, or sending one of the Questions You’ll Wish You Asked journals to a person you care about today. Find them here.
PPS: Do you know a motherless mother? I made this for her. Learn more here.
Need an emotional release? Listen to this song.