How to Be the Hero of Your Story: Tips on Pain, Re-framing, and Transformation

The good news: you’re a hero.

The bad news: you have to save yourself.

(Sam Lamott)

I included the above quote because it relates to the latest podcast episode –but as I type this message on Super Tuesday (a day when many of us in the United States are voting) I realize that it also applies to our political climate…wherever it is you live.

With all that’s wrong politically (and in the world) it’s easy to want a “hero” in the form of an ideal candidate or sweeping (and quick) change in our system— I know I find myself fantasizing about that.

But that hero has already arrived – and it’s us.

‘We are the ones we’ve been waiting for,’ as they say.

It’s never too late to step into the arena (anywhere) and do whatever small things we can to make a difference in our world.

So if you voted – amazing. If you didn’t – it’s not too late to get involved in causes, initiatives, or areas that you care about.

How do you figure out where to start?

You can start by figuring out what pisses you off/makes you cry/gets you excited.

WeAretheOnes.jpg

“The emotions that come up as we read about a tragedy or watch hate unfold on the news are fuel: rather than getting depressed, it’s our cue to find out where we can help. If we don’t know where to start, that’s when we take Mister Rogers’ cue and “find the helpers.” Maybe we have no idea how to be of service in the world, but luckily there are people already doing it that we can learn from. We can dig for knowledge, vote with our dollars, and live in a way that’s in accordance with our beliefs.” (Read the rest of this blog I wrote a few years ago here.)

And more on being the hero…

My latest podcast guest caught me off guard.

If you’re new to the podcast, the question of "what should I do with my life?" functions as the umbrella that hangs over the wide variety of topics I explore, questions I ask people, and the diverse interviews that you’ll hear.

In ALL of these episodes we talk about how a variety of people answered this question, usually starting with how it relates to their work - but also their creative passions, spiritual life, family, health, finances...all of it.

I ask: how do people decide which road to take? And how does it compare to their childhood ideas of who they’d be?

But the thing is... not everyone feels like they have choices as a kid.

Not everyone has parents that ask them what their dreams are, or an upbringing that makes it seem like those dreams are possible. Further, some are up against parents and environments who actively abuse or belittle or neglect them.

Not everyone feels that the American Dream and choice is theirs to have if, for example, they’re not from the dominant white/able-bodied/English speaking culture, or if they grew up in a time/place when their ethnicity or native language or socioeconomic status didn’t SEEM to bring with it very much choice.

My latest guest's story isn't a tragedy though - it's one of transformation, alchemy, and the depth of soul (and art) that can come from a difficult past or bumpy upbringing.

It's a story of loss, redemption, and the outcomes that are possible when pain is transformed into healing.

Ruben Briseno Reveles and I discuss how losing his mother at four days old and having a painful childhood meant that he wasn’t dreaming as a kid - he was just trying to survive.

We also talk about what it’s like to grow up as a child of immigrants, be caught between cultures, and how venturing away from your roots can also someday lead you back to them.

Today’s episode is for you if you’ve struggled with not fitting in, wondered where your artistic ability might lie, questioned how to balance art with work, how the pain of your past could ever actually be a force for good, or if you’re wondering how to be the creator of your own story.

The episode is available at the links below:

iTunes

Spotify

Soundcloud

If you like what you hear please subscribe, rate, and review this podcast - and share it with a person you think would benefit.

xo,

Melissa


I hope that wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you know that your inherent value lies not in what you do, but who you already are. You are ALREADY enough.