Here is the world.
Beautiful and terrible things will happen.
Don't be afraid.
(Frederick Beuchner)
These last few weeks have been heavy.
The devastating conflict in the Middle East, the corresponding information war on social media, and for many of us, division within our own families and selves around the "right" way to grieve, speak, and show up in integrity.
In these times of finding balance between activism and tending to our own nervous system, of division over where and how to speak and for whom and how to grieve, I am reminded of Brene Brown's empathy quote:
"Empathy is not finite, and compassion is not a pizza with eight slices. When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There’s more. Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world...Hurt is hurt, and every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us."
(Brene Brown)
So confront the suffering and injustice, and also allow compassion for your own struggles.
Feel strong convictions, but hold space for others to grieve how they need to (and don't weaponize that grief.)
Find footholds where you can make a difference, and then remember that you are most effective in changing the world when you are resourced yourself.
Some questions to ask:
What is nourishing me right now? (How are you tending to your nervous system?)
Even if I don't know what to do, who do I want to be?
What is the next right thing?
Where can I pour more love in?
Is this (opinion, action, post) rooted in love or fear?
Where does staying informed become doom scrolling? (<-- remember that anxiety is not activism)
Image by Chuttersnap on Unsplash
What is the most true and beautiful world I can imagine? How can I take one step toward that world today?
Here are a few things nourishing me right now...
Walking 16 miles per week
My daughter's been in preschool for the better part of a year and we usually drive her both there and back (even though it's only about a mile away.) But these past few weeks I began putting both kids in the stroller (that luckily still fits them at two and four) and walking/running there for both pickup and drop-off. The first few mornings were WAY more stressful because we had to leave earlier and that was a total adjustment, but it has done wonders for my mental health - I feel stronger, more zingy, and just generally better on the days I walk. It also feels good to move my body with absolutely no goals of losing weight - just to simply to feel this aliveness and dare I say...endorphins. I'm going to keep this up.
Pitching myself and my books to big, audacious, out of my league podcasts
And though most haven't responded, this practice of repeatedly throwing myself out there means that each time I do it I'm a bit braver, well worded, and more willing to lean into the "YOLO" energy. I believe it's what the kids are calling "delulu" ("delusional" for all of us dinosaurs) and it's sometimes exhausting, but also exhilarating. What big scary thing have you been thinking about doing? Get delulu with me - let me be a reminder that you have permission. (By the way, is there a podcast that you think I'd be a good fit for? Reply to this email and let me know - I want to know what you listen to already!)
Living Questions, Breathing Answers
Starting a membership felt really dumb in many ways - I don't have a big platform to begin with and so any people are hurting financially. But I trusted the breadcrumbs that kept urging me to combine breathwork, writing, and the inquries from the Questions You'll Wish You Asked journals. I set the membership at a really accessible $19/month. And to my amazement...people have joined. So far we've had one Breathwork ceremony (the replay is available in the membership) and one live journaling session (I don't record those so that people feel safe sharing.) There are a ton of on-demand breathwork tracks on there and a budding community of open-hearted people on a healing journey. Our next breath ceremony is on Sunday October 29th and coincides with Samhain/the October full moon. I'd love to have you if you want to become a member at the founding rate. And if you're already a member, I can't wait to see you there.
This playlist
If you're struggling with all the heartache present right now, and all the division over that heartache...I made a playlist for us.
First, get up and move your body to this song: stretch, shake, cry, scream - just move.
https://open.spotify.com/track/1lEPbd3Pf73s28zoem3IxX...
Then, lie down and breathe to the rest of the songs, in this order:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0g3QLHvqRNxQixJ2J9HFnm...
If you don't yet have a regular breathwork practice, here is a basic-how-to-breathe-to-heal track.
https://www.followyourfirecoaching.com/breatheherenow
Love you.
~Melissa
"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world...
I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.
When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.
I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.
Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."
(unknown, circa 1100 AD)
The Questions You’ll Wish You Asked Yourself journal invites you to understand and heal your past, love and trust yourself in the present, and feel clarity and hope as you create the future you want.
There’s a time capsule Questions You'll Wish You Asked
prompt journal for every family relationship.
