“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” (Hunter S. Thompson)
(Listen to this blog in podcast form here)
I’ve always been a big dreamer.
When I was a kid I wanted to be as famous as Christina Ricci and as powerful as the president.
Dreaming Little Me
At twenty I dreamt of building a house that resembled the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, right down to a waltzing ghost ballroom.
Tonight, on the cusp of my 36th birthday, my goals center on liberating as many people as possible from the throes of insecurity, playing small, and limiting beliefs.
(I’d also still like to live in the Haunted Mansion.)
The difference between my younger self and my 36-year-old self is that I no longer simply dream and wish and plan.
Now, I check in with myself, plan – and act.
If I want to get a degree, start a coaching business, create a podcast, launch a fundraiser - I get quiet with myself, do some research, identify steps – and take them.
Do things always look perfect?
Nope.
For example, my podcast completely changed about nine episodes in. I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working, so I completely changed gears.
I took a few extra years to complete my later-in-life college degree because I switched majors more than once.
I’ve dated the wrong people, hired the wrong people, and walked down the “wrong” path more times than I can count.
The difference today is that I know these things weren’t wrong – they were movement. Inertia. Power.
Would I un-date some of those toads? Yes. LOL. But would I trade what they taught me about myself, who I am, and what I want? Hard no.
Taking action on our dreams teaches us something no matter what – it’s how we clear the brambles from our truest and most fulfilling life path.
When my head says:
“I’m too old”
“People will think this is SO stupid”
“I’m not smart enough, experienced enough, I’m an imposter, a total fraud”
I check in with myself (is this really true?) and then move forward through the noise.
Author Tara Mohr calls this moment of initial action leaping – leaving the metaphoric “white board” (where we’ve been busy making plans) and taking measurable action that involves other people/places/things.
Leaping is action that risks something.
Leaping is actually asking that person out on a date, showing up to the running club huffing and out of shape, sharing a chapter of your book with someone you trust, or telling the world (or LinkedIn) about an exciting new business you just started.
It’s not just deciding what you *think* you want, perfecting and refining and mulling it over – but moving toward your dream imperfectly and full of fear.
Of course introspection, mindset work, and unearthing intuition are paramount to changing your whole life – but changing your *actual* life involves taking what you learn about yourself into the world.
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback.” (Brene Brown)
This year for my birthday, I’d like to ask you, via the words of Mary Oliver: what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
What great possibility exists in your head that deserves to be born into the world?
What would you do or be, even if you knew you might fail?
How can you move forward imperfectly today?
I’d love to hear about your dreams so please share them below. Thanks for being a part of my journey around the sun, my friend.
And in the words of Abraham Lincoln, let’s get out there and fuck some shit up.
xo,
Melissa
